I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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