hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
