Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
