thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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