I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
