that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
