Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
