they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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