So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize