Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
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