I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
