can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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