you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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