i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
