Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I got inside last night via doggy door
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
