I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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