So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
