Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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