I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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