You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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