Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
