he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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