He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
A bitchslap is in order.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
