That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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