he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
YAS. BRING CRAB.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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