And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
