Swine flu. Run for my life!
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
