Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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