And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
