both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
