he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
