i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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