I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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