There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Randomize
