Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
