Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
