Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
