you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
