please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
