I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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