Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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