So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize