So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize