I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
