Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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