We tried having a conversation with our noses.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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