I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
