so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
