Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize