I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
