It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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