butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
are you so shy because you have an std?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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