Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize