I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Randomize
