He kissed a someone with a penis
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize