As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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