Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
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