He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
