Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
