booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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