Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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