I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
