Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
