Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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