2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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