it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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