Yo dont text me then not text me
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
